The First Step Toward Authenticity — Radical Honesty With Yourself
Series 1: Week 2 - Living Authentically: A Journey to the True Self
Living authentically sounds beautiful, but the first step is often the hardest: being truly honest with yourself. Before you can live outwardly as your authentic self, you must be willing to look inward with courage — to face both your strengths and the parts of yourself you’d rather avoid.
When I began my own journey of self-discovery, I thought authenticity meant simply following my heart. But I quickly learned that it goes deeper than that. It means confronting the truths about who you are, even when it’s uncomfortable. It means looking at both the gifts you bring into the world and the patterns, defenses, or fears that may be holding you back.
It sounds simple, but it isn’t. We all carry blind spots. We all tell ourselves little stories that soften the rough edges of our mistakes or cover up the parts of ourselves we’d rather not see. But if we want to live authentically, we have to be willing to look at both the good and the not-so-pleasant parts of who we are. That honesty can feel uncomfortable at first, but it is also deeply freeing.
Honesty with yourself is not about judgment — it’s about awareness. It’s about taking the blinders off and seeing your full self clearly. That’s where transformation begins.
My Journey into Honesty
One of the most radical acts of honesty in my life was leaving my marriage. It wasn’t easy, and it certainly wasn’t without pain — for myself, for my children, and for my family. But when I admitted to myself that staying meant living small, walking on eggshells, and never fully being me, I knew I had to find the courage to leave.
That decision didn’t just change my circumstances — it shifted something inside of me. It gave me the courage to step into the unknown again and again, including taking a year away from my familiar life — a season of exploration, healing, and writing that reshaped me in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
Each of those steps started with honesty. Honest reflection on what I truly needed. Honest recognition of what wasn’t working. And honest belief that I was worth creating a new path.
When I finally stopped hiding from my own truths, I found strength I didn’t know I had. I discovered that I could survive disappointment, loss, and even my own failures — and still move forward with love. Being honest with myself didn’t diminish me; it made me more whole.
Being Your Own Friend
It’s natural to be kind, patient, and forgiving with the people we love. We know how to cheer them on, hold them accountable, and remind them of their worth. The real challenge is offering ourselves that same friendship. Authenticity begins when we treat ourselves with the same honesty and compassion we so freely give to others.
This is where so many of us stumble. We extend grace to others, but struggle to extend it inward. We silence our own needs, avoid our deeper truths, or cover them up with busyness. But when you pause and listen to your own heart, you realize that being a true friend to yourself means not only celebrating your strengths, but also being willing to admit where you need to grow.
What Honesty Looks Like
Being honest with yourself might mean acknowledging that:
You’re in a job, relationship, or situation that no longer fits who you are.
You’ve been pushing away your own needs while trying to meet everyone else’s.
You’ve been wearing a mask because it feels safer than being vulnerable.
You’ve been downplaying your gifts because you’re afraid of being “too much.”
These truths can be painful to admit — but ignoring them only keeps you stuck. Honesty is the doorway to freedom. Once you step through it, you begin to live with more clarity and courage.
Why This Matters
Authenticity isn’t about perfection. It’s about alignment. When you are honest with yourself, you stop wasting energy pretending to be someone you’re not. You start to live from a place of truth, and from that place, deeper healing and transformation can unfold.
That’s what happened for me. Leaving my marriage, setting out on the open road, not knowing where I’d sleep the first night, spending two months next door to a childhood friend in South Carolina, where deep healing happened — all of these moments came from choosing honesty first. From admitting what wasn’t working, and choosing to step into something new.
Your Step This Week
If you want to live more authentically, begin here:
Set aside 15 minutes of quiet time.
Write down one area of your life where you haven’t been completely honest with yourself.
Ask: What truth am I avoiding? What would change if I admitted it?
Instead of judgment, offer yourself compassion. Speak to yourself the way you would to a close friend.
This practice isn’t easy, but it’s powerful. Remember — authenticity begins with honesty, and honesty begins with you.
Publishing my book was one milestone of living authentically. But publishing it was not the end of my journey — it was the beginning of living more authentically.
I’d love to walk with you on this journey. Reach out to schedule a free Discovery call.
